I'm pregnant, what can I be doing?
This one is for the pregnant ladies, the one who are hopefully enjoying growing a little bump and all the joys that come with it, the heartburn, the sickness, the never-ending trips to the toilet, the back pain, the hormones and so on, BUT your bringing life into the world so you should feel like a super hero!
If your reading this then chances are you’re thinking about what you will do after giving birth, if you will ever feel normal again and if your body will ever go back to feeling like it did pre- pregnancy. Will you ever get back into those skinny jeans, or will you just always want to wear jeans with an elasticated waist line?
I love my children, I love every bit about them, the highs the lows, the tantrums and the sticky finger prints (might be pushing it a bit there) and I even enjoyed giving birth to Wilder, it was an unbelievable experience, I felt in control and our wonderful NHS meant I got such amazing care, granted Jesse (my eldest) was a bit of a shock and not so enjoyable but it is truly the most amazing, empowering experience of my life.
I enjoyed a lot of play groups with Jesse , not so much with Wilder but I’m sure he will be forever grateful for his loving brother that he won’t care that he just got dragged to whatever Jesse wanted to do. They have both had very different baby lives, but I genuinely think they are happy, happy in themselves and happy with our family and that's genuinely all I ever want for my children.
As a new mum i felt a new level of guilt, it’s like i give birth to a new level of guilt with the placenta! I feel guilty if Deans doing too much ‘babysitting’ (I’m the one that calls it that, slip of the tongue, NOT Dean), or Jesse just has ham sandwiches for tea because he literally hates what I cook.
You’re going to have a lot to deal with over the next few months (or next 18 years...at least!). You’re going to feel guilty about pretty much anything but you should never feel guilty about having some you time. I really believe a happy mum makes a happy baby so remember to look after yourself too.
Now I’m not saying use that ‘you time’ to exercise (although it is a real confidence booster, has many health benefits, and personally I think gives you thinking space, time and clears your head) use it to relax, to unwind and recuperate.
What I’m trying to say is your life will very soon be all about someone else, I remember after having Jesse a lady said to me “but how are you” I was like yeah I’m good, she then explained “when you’re pregnant it’s all about you and how you are, don’t do this, make sure your resting, eat the ben and Jerrys, but now the baby’s here no one really asks how you’re doing”. It does sound harsh looking back but your so consumed and everyone else is so consumed by this tiny human being (not that it’s a bad thing, its an amazing thing) but sometimes it’s easy to forget to look after yourself, physically and mentally.
A good mum isn't a breast feeder or one who has a baby sleeping by day 14, a good mum is one that's there, in body and mind.If you don't nap when the baby does, if you don't eat well, if you don't have some space and time for yourself then don't you think you need to think a bit more about looking after yourself?
This may seem like a shameless advert for the plan but it isn't, its telling you to take 5 and enjoy it, do something for you to find gather your thoughts and clear your head. Plan something for yourself and don't feel guilty. We are blessed with children to enrich our lives.
Your life will change so much over the next coming months, take the help, take good advice, and take some time for you.